separate an artist's life from an artist's work....
?
i don't know how it is possible for one not to encompass the other.
i want to always be able to make something that comes from within. Yes, it's great to create things for fun, but I'm most proud of work that says a bit about me.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
a bit of relief
Lots of horrible news in the last week and bad things happening... I'm sorry for that and for everyone going through such struggles.
I do have a little bit of light in the tunnel that is my life, though.
I got the call. He is in rehab and is clean for now. He sounds so positive and it's the first time he has wanted to be clean. Meaning, truly wanted to quit on his own, not being prompted to do so. So, we'll see. He's like a brother to me and always will be. I can't fathom the thought of losing him. I just hope with so much tenacity that he stays, completes the program and then seeks long term help. This isn't a stepping stone that he hasn't been on before....
I do have a little bit of light in the tunnel that is my life, though.
I got the call. He is in rehab and is clean for now. He sounds so positive and it's the first time he has wanted to be clean. Meaning, truly wanted to quit on his own, not being prompted to do so. So, we'll see. He's like a brother to me and always will be. I can't fathom the thought of losing him. I just hope with so much tenacity that he stays, completes the program and then seeks long term help. This isn't a stepping stone that he hasn't been on before....
SCC Photography Invitational
I made my way over to the Fine Arts Building a couple of weeks ago and am just now getting around to blogging about it, I apologize.
The SCC Photography Invitational pleasantly surprised me with the talent on display. I found many images I quite liked. I wish I knew more about printing how some of these images were printed. It seemed many were on Chroma, I think? Maybe someone can correct me on this description. So many stood out. However, one more than the others and not because of the type of print or format it was at all. It was smaller in size than most of them, not extremely vibrant in color like many of the others, but definitely spoke to ME. So, we all know what that means... it had a message, and if you know me, the message was somewhat dark. haha
The title was "This Will End Badly" and the photographer is: Robert Boettcher
I took a small snapshot of the photo w/ my camera phone, but I encourage everyone to go look at it for a moment if possible as my poor camera phone was just my reminder. (That, and I like to be able to look back and have on hand things like works of art, lyrics to songs, lines from a movie, etc. that affect me.)
The SCC Photography Invitational pleasantly surprised me with the talent on display. I found many images I quite liked. I wish I knew more about printing how some of these images were printed. It seemed many were on Chroma, I think? Maybe someone can correct me on this description. So many stood out. However, one more than the others and not because of the type of print or format it was at all. It was smaller in size than most of them, not extremely vibrant in color like many of the others, but definitely spoke to ME. So, we all know what that means... it had a message, and if you know me, the message was somewhat dark. haha
The title was "This Will End Badly" and the photographer is: Robert Boettcher
I took a small snapshot of the photo w/ my camera phone, but I encourage everyone to go look at it for a moment if possible as my poor camera phone was just my reminder. (That, and I like to be able to look back and have on hand things like works of art, lyrics to songs, lines from a movie, etc. that affect me.)
Monday, February 13, 2012
An up and coming artist/photographer
I know I'm supposed to blog about different photographers, but I wasn't sure if we could blog about very new ones that we admire? I figured, why not? I've been watching Ken Gehring for some time now. Every shoot, especially his concept shoots, get better and better. I'd be lying if I said he didn't inspire my work that I'm heading towards. I'd like to work with him and am probably going to pay him a visit in the springtime in Arkansas since it's not a terribly far drive.
So, there's my photographer of the week. I can't say I know TOO much about him personally or anything I'd disclose on a blog, but I do know he's one amazing guy who has went through some shit and then some. He's worth watching b/c he's jumped leaps and bounds and I don't see him slowing his pace any time soon.
So, there's my photographer of the week. I can't say I know TOO much about him personally or anything I'd disclose on a blog, but I do know he's one amazing guy who has went through some shit and then some. He's worth watching b/c he's jumped leaps and bounds and I don't see him slowing his pace any time soon.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Realizing your worth...
Even though this is a photography blog, I figured I might share some thoughts now and then. I might ramble about things that seem insignificant to others, and I'm totally okay with that if you are!
Over the weekend I was taught a lesson. You can not make others realize their worth. You can tell them until you are blue in the face just how important of a human being they are and what potential they have, but there are just some people that are too far in the hole to pull out. You can throw them a rope, you can build them a damn escalator, for f's sake... but they make the choice to either grab on or hitch that ride back out. It's not up to you to make that decision for them, sadly.
I am taking substance abuse classes specifically b/c of the history I have with knowing persons affected by drugs and alcohol. I have went from someone who used to blame addicts so sternly b/c I was so pissed off when one would die that they'd be so damn selfish and hurtful to others around them, to a person who has probably too soft of a heart for people suffering from addiction. The more I learn in my classes, the more I feel, which is becoming a problem b/c I'm finding myself getting emotional reading case studies. I'm getting emotional about STRANGERS I've never met.
This weekend, I got a call from a friend who said they wanted to go to rehab. They also needed a place to stay overnight. I agreed, listened to the story of how they reached sobriety for a week along with promises and positive ideas about what they want for their life... and felt they were being sincere. They probably were... at that moment. No one WANTS to suffer from drug addiction. YES, they made a choice to start at some point. I know that's the argument that so many make. However, knowing the history of the people I personally know that are addicted, who watched their parents use, who watched their parents die with a needle in their arm, some who were horribly abused verbally, mentally and physically... you can't tell me that some addicts aren't the product of their home and childhood experiences.
Fast forward to the light of the next day, and the attitude starts to change. Maybe it's the sickness taking over, the need for the drug is creeping on strongly, I don't know. What I do know is priorities change and become things like getting some paperwork finished, grabbing an item out of pawn, filing for a tax refund... everything mentioned except rehab. This is where I feel my heart starting to sink. I know the cycle. I know disappointment is coming. First it's "can I use your phone?" Ten phone calls later and it's, "can we run to the gas station?" The unraveling begins and before you know it, the addict is out of the car walking in hopes of getting a pick up from a "friend" and I use that term loosely because friends, real friends, would not use with you or support your habit. After the pick up, it's off to score some dope and the whole thing starts all over... a day and night high with other users, a day of wandering around and then a night out in the freezing cold, a day at a friends house hanging out while their parents aren't home (yes, these are grown ass people, 20's, 30's, but drug addicts almost always lose everything thus ending up living at home w/ a relative/friend or homeless altogether) and then maybe a few days going from couch to couch of friends who end up asking you to leave b/c they don't want an addict there while they go to work considering addicts will steal from their own family and friends. It's a fact, don't get mad that I say it, it's true. An addict may love you, yes, but they love the drug much more, it's as simple as that. The state of mind changes, it's nothing personal.
So, we wait. Wait for the call from a hospital or a friend. We wait for a call from the police. We wait for the possibility of having to identify a body.
But we hope... for a call from rehab instead.
And we hope.... this time the addict will stay there and finish the program.
And we hope... that the person we once knew will return to life with the living.
Over the weekend I was taught a lesson. You can not make others realize their worth. You can tell them until you are blue in the face just how important of a human being they are and what potential they have, but there are just some people that are too far in the hole to pull out. You can throw them a rope, you can build them a damn escalator, for f's sake... but they make the choice to either grab on or hitch that ride back out. It's not up to you to make that decision for them, sadly.
I am taking substance abuse classes specifically b/c of the history I have with knowing persons affected by drugs and alcohol. I have went from someone who used to blame addicts so sternly b/c I was so pissed off when one would die that they'd be so damn selfish and hurtful to others around them, to a person who has probably too soft of a heart for people suffering from addiction. The more I learn in my classes, the more I feel, which is becoming a problem b/c I'm finding myself getting emotional reading case studies. I'm getting emotional about STRANGERS I've never met.
This weekend, I got a call from a friend who said they wanted to go to rehab. They also needed a place to stay overnight. I agreed, listened to the story of how they reached sobriety for a week along with promises and positive ideas about what they want for their life... and felt they were being sincere. They probably were... at that moment. No one WANTS to suffer from drug addiction. YES, they made a choice to start at some point. I know that's the argument that so many make. However, knowing the history of the people I personally know that are addicted, who watched their parents use, who watched their parents die with a needle in their arm, some who were horribly abused verbally, mentally and physically... you can't tell me that some addicts aren't the product of their home and childhood experiences.
Fast forward to the light of the next day, and the attitude starts to change. Maybe it's the sickness taking over, the need for the drug is creeping on strongly, I don't know. What I do know is priorities change and become things like getting some paperwork finished, grabbing an item out of pawn, filing for a tax refund... everything mentioned except rehab. This is where I feel my heart starting to sink. I know the cycle. I know disappointment is coming. First it's "can I use your phone?" Ten phone calls later and it's, "can we run to the gas station?" The unraveling begins and before you know it, the addict is out of the car walking in hopes of getting a pick up from a "friend" and I use that term loosely because friends, real friends, would not use with you or support your habit. After the pick up, it's off to score some dope and the whole thing starts all over... a day and night high with other users, a day of wandering around and then a night out in the freezing cold, a day at a friends house hanging out while their parents aren't home (yes, these are grown ass people, 20's, 30's, but drug addicts almost always lose everything thus ending up living at home w/ a relative/friend or homeless altogether) and then maybe a few days going from couch to couch of friends who end up asking you to leave b/c they don't want an addict there while they go to work considering addicts will steal from their own family and friends. It's a fact, don't get mad that I say it, it's true. An addict may love you, yes, but they love the drug much more, it's as simple as that. The state of mind changes, it's nothing personal.
So, we wait. Wait for the call from a hospital or a friend. We wait for a call from the police. We wait for the possibility of having to identify a body.
But we hope... for a call from rehab instead.
And we hope.... this time the addict will stay there and finish the program.
And we hope... that the person we once knew will return to life with the living.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Artist #1 - Cindy Sherman
http://www.metropicturesgallery.com/artists/cindy-sherman/
Quickly becoming a big favorite of mine... I wish I had chosen her as my artist to do a homage on. I found her last year and fell in love with the work I saw, but the more I see, the more of her work I'm interested in. It's so very intriguing to me, and I'm not quite sure why... yet.
Quickly becoming a big favorite of mine... I wish I had chosen her as my artist to do a homage on. I found her last year and fell in love with the work I saw, but the more I see, the more of her work I'm interested in. It's so very intriguing to me, and I'm not quite sure why... yet.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
this, this, this, this, this is something to dance to...
First, a little music I want to share. I have never met someone who actually knew who this band was except for the person who introduced me to them. Meh, it's not for everybody, but I certainly love this song. They have a few really beautiful songs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm9kQdIFObY&ob=av2e
When I edit photos, I almost have to have music playing. What I've noticed is, depending on the song or band I'm listening to, it can influence the type of editing I do... whether it be darker, brighter, more contrast, softer, etc. I thought about keeping a log of what song I was listening to during each edit, but oh my, that would be a chore.
Anyways, I'm thinking I might set it up at the get go from now on. If I am editing a family portrait with children, maybe I'll specifically put on some uplifting, cheery music to encourage my editing. If I'm editing something more dark, maybe I'll throw on some old NIN or Front 242. (I'm guessing no one who reads this will even know who Front 242 is, so go youtube them, seriously).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm9kQdIFObY&ob=av2e
When I edit photos, I almost have to have music playing. What I've noticed is, depending on the song or band I'm listening to, it can influence the type of editing I do... whether it be darker, brighter, more contrast, softer, etc. I thought about keeping a log of what song I was listening to during each edit, but oh my, that would be a chore.
Anyways, I'm thinking I might set it up at the get go from now on. If I am editing a family portrait with children, maybe I'll specifically put on some uplifting, cheery music to encourage my editing. If I'm editing something more dark, maybe I'll throw on some old NIN or Front 242. (I'm guessing no one who reads this will even know who Front 242 is, so go youtube them, seriously).
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